How to throw a fit on the beach...

...and look good doing it.

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This post brought to you by Cawub. An expert in the art of 2 year old tantrums.

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1) Make sure you cry enough to have tears rolling down your cheeks. Even if you're not really all that upset, put everything into it. Tears make things much more dramatic and you're more likely to get your way when you cry.

2) Don't hold back. Being out in public is no excuse to "tone it down." Make sure everybody around can hear you too.

3) When you see the adults start to look around to make sure nobody is watching, really turn it up. This means that it's working.

4) Really get hacked off when people start laughing at you. Scream at them so that they know that the situation is not the least bit funny and that you are still very much in control.

5) Make sure that everybody knows that you're the boss.

Follow the above instructions and you're well on your way to getting everything you want. When, for example, somebody takes your sandals off against your will, even though they're rubbing blisters on your feet, you let them know who's boss and that you want the sandals promptly given back to you. Then you proceed to squeal and shout "(insert your name here) DO IT!" even though you have not the foggiest idea how to actually work Velcro. Scream and cry as if your life depends on it. I guarantee you'll have your sandals back pronto. It's up to you how long you want to sit and try to work them before you get bored and ask somebody else for help. It's not because you can't do it, mind, just that you want to move onto other things.

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I hope this was of some help to other 2 year olds out there. Next tutorial: How to take a bath with everybody in the house when they don't want you in there. Follow my instructions and you could be bathing 5 times per night too! I don't know what they fuss about honestly, it's not like you can't wash it right of for crying out loud. Why should I get out and get on the potty? It's cold!

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Until next time,

King of my castle - Cawub